don't be so judgemental

Today I wanna talk about a word that is so popular in the English language... If you're a regular viewer of American movies, or TV series or sitcoms, you have most likely heard this word or one of its variations several times. I'm talking about the words judgement, judge, judgemental and so on. And I'm not referring to anything related to a courtroom. Nope, I'm gonna give you examples of how words like judgemental are used in everyday conversation among regular people.

So let me give you an example of what I mean: if Kevin is judging Anthony, that means that Kevin is disapproving of Anthony in some way. Anthony has done or said something that Kevin disapproves of. So Kevin is judging Anthony, which means that Kevin is thinking, or possibly saying something negative about Anthony. Kevin is saying that Anthony should not have done what he did. He's saying that Anthony was weak (which is the opposite of strong), or he's saying that Anthony was dishonest, or something like that. So Kevin is judging Anthony.

When you judge someone, it's usually because they did or said something you consider wrong, or weak, or in poor taste, or something like that. In general, when we judge someone we are seeing this person as inferior in some way.

So let's get on to some more vocabulary: let's say you're watching a movie and two characters are having a conversation. One of them says, Melissa gave up college. She's working as a waitress now. And the other character says What? I can't believe that. I thought she was a smart girl, but she isn't! And then the first character says Hey, don't be so judgemental! Don't judge Melissa for quitting college. She can't afford college right now and she's got to help her family financially. So again, this is very common for people to say: Don't be so judgemental, you shouldn't judge her. And, of course, the word judgemental describes a person who judges. When someone judges someone else, the first person is being judgemental.

Sometimes you hear someone say Who are you to judge? Like, who do you think you are to judge? That means something like "do you think you're perfect? Have you never made any mistakes?" Who are you to judge? Here's an expression that goes well in this situation: Get off your high horse. "Get off your high horse" means "stop acting as if you were better than everyone else", you know? Be more humble. Get off your high horse. So again, here goes the combination: Who are you to judge? Please get off your high horse.

And here's a saying - it's like a "ditado" in Portuguese: You can't judge a book by its cover. You can't judge a book by its cover. Did you get the meaning? The cover of the book has to do with its appearance, right? Perhaps the cover looks lame, but who knows? The interior of the book, you know, the story? The story might be good. So don't judge a book by its cover. This saying can be used for anything, any situation for which you don't have a lot of information, you're just looking at the surface... Maybe it's a person that you're about to meet and you take a look at the person and your first impression isn't a very good one. And then someone says to you "Give it time, get to know him, he's great... Don't judge a book by its cover".

OK, so that's it for today! So tell us your story in the comments: tell us about a time when you judged someone or someone judged you. Or when you judged a book by its cover, figuratively speaking, and then you were proven wrong. Talk to you next time!



Key expressions

don't be so judgemental
don't judge her
who are you to judge?
get off your high horse
don't judge a book by its cover